I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
why does every cop we meet know your name?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
