Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
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