i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
