Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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