I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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