North Korea, Best Korea!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
