In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
