I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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