We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Vodka?
Forever.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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