Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
