So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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