Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize