Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
