I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
