I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
