Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
