New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
