We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
