Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
