he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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