is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
