are you so shy because you have an std?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
