You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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