the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
