i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize