She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
In other news, I just burned my penis
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize