you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
