He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
