It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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