I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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