how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
