I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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