You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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