By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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