this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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