This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
