So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You have to summon your inner elephant
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
