Having a random hookup so left but love u
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize