Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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