i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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