In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
