I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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