i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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