Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
