hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
