I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
