Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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