I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
