every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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