worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
