So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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