Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
