I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
