I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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