I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
