THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
