Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
