i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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