So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
