I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
