We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
